Stressed out? You need a vacation. But even if you go on vacation, are you relaxing, or, are you thinking about work, calling into the office, checking your emails and stressing out about what you are missing at the office? You are not alone….. but the health benefits of learning how to relax are enormous … so give it a try!
The water’s blue, the waves are lapping. Geez, it’s hot. Do I have enough sunscreen on? Why did I wear this bathing suit? How long have we been here? I wonder what’s happening at the office. Have they finished that project? Where is that cellphone? Wait, don’t tell me there’s no service!
Can’t slow down? Even on vacation? You’ve got plenty of company.
Only 53% of working Americans say they come back feeling rested and rejuvenated after vacation, and 30% say they have trouble coping with work stress while they’re away, according to an Expedia.com survey of 1,530. Some try to cram in so much activity that they come back more exhausted than when they left. Others stay so plugged on BlackBerrys and cellphones that colleagues and clients don’t even suspect they’re away.
“It’s been my experience that an ‘out of office’ response means nothing anymore,” says Edward T. Creagan, a medical oncologist who writes the Mayo Clinic’s stress blog. “We’re driving ourselves wacko with no time to power down.”
Attempting to relax even makes some people sick. Some 3% of the population suffers from “leisure sickness” when they go on vacation. Symptoms include fatigue, muscle pain, nausea and flu-like symptoms, according to a 2002 study in the Netherlands. And a phenomenon of “weekend headaches” accounts for roughly one-third of all migraines and one-sixth of tension headaches.
Faced with a threatening situation, the body’s primitive “fight or flight” mechanism pumps out adrenaline that primes the body for action, raising the heart rate, tensing muscles and slowing digestion. But when the threat is an impending layoff or demanding client, the state of alarm never dissipates, raising the risk for high blood pressure, Type 2 diabetes, chronic pain and a weakened immune system. It can also bring on depression, anxiety and exhaustion.
For some people, the withdrawal of stress can be similar to withdrawing from steroids—including changes in glucose metabolism and dramatic mood swings, says Conor Liston, a psychiatry resident at Weill Medical College in New York City who was the lead investigator of a brain study on stress.
Other people seem to get so addicted to the adrenaline rush from stress that they gravitate to high-pressure jobs and keep piling on new challenges; some subconsciously push deadlines and complicate projects, creating stress unnecessarily.
Put someone like that on a beach for a week, and it’s no wonder they can’t relax. For them, the best vacations involve physical or mental stimulation, anything from hang-gliding to culinary classes.
“I can sit on a beach for, like, 15 minutes, then it’s ‘OK, what’s next?’ ” says Vaughn Payne, a cardiologist in eastern Kentucky who runs four to six miles most weekdays before doing hospital rounds, seeing 30 or more patients and studying for his M.B.A. at night. “He’ll occasionally sit in front of the TV—with his pager on one armrest, his cellphone on the other and his laptop in his lap,” laughs his wife, Debby.
Of course, many people who work hard can disengage when they want to. “The hard worker in the office is dreaming about being on the ski slope. The workaholic is on the ski slope dreaming about being in the office,” says Bryan E. Robinson, author of “Chained to the Desk, a Guidebook for Workaholics.” He says true workaholics are driven less by real workplace demands than by low self-esteem and fear of inadequacy. They bring all those feelings with them on vacation, along with added guilt of being away.
“For a lot of workaholics, work alleviates anxiety, and when you are not working, the anxiety bubbles up,” says Dr. Robinson, who says that he used to pretend to rest—and secretly work instead—while his family went to the beach. “It calmed me down, like a drink calms an alcoholic,” he says. He hit bottom when his partner left him in 1983 and he sought help in therapy and Workaholics Anonymous.
The author of 25 books on psychology and family, Dr. Robinson, professor emeritus at University of North Carolina at Charlotte estimates that about one-quarter of the population could be classified as workaholic, though it comes in varying degrees. One version is the workaholic who is physically on vacation but mentally still at work. “He may be playing catch with his daughter, but his mind is somewhere else. And she can probably tell, even though she’s only 7,” he says.
Some vacationing workers insist they can be “present” when it counts and still stay connected.
“It’s not the worst situation in the world to be lying on a beach, drinking a margarita, keeping up with email,” says Erika Soto Lamb, an executive at public-relations company Ketchum who went to Zihuatanejo, Mexico, with her husband over Memorial Day to celebrate their anniversary. (She left her cellphone behind during their anniversary dinner.) “I’m doing preventative stress so that when I come back on Monday morning, I can get right back into the game instead of having to read a million emails,” she says.
Indeed, many experts think that checking in with the office occasionally can be less stressful than anxiously wondering what’s going on. “Feeling out of control is always stressful,” says Paul J. Rosch, president of the American Institute of Stress. “But do try to make it a limited time—like 9 to 10 a.m. and 5 to 6 p.m.,” says the Mayo Clinic’s Dr. Creagan. “Then say, ‘Regardless of what is happening, I am unplugging that little torture device.’ ”
What is the ideal vacation for someone who needs to relax but has trouble doing so?
Try something new. Learning something in a new place can be more relaxing and refreshing than trying to do nothing. While it’s good to get outside your comfort zone, it’s not necessary to explode out of it. “I don’t want to go bungee jumping,” says Matthew Edlund, a sleep expert in Sarasota, Fla., and author of “The Power of Rest” who says he’d much prefer walking through Berlin or Beijing. “You decide what your level of adventurousness is and do it.”
Have a plan, but be flexible. Completely winging it somewhere can be stressful, so have a rough idea of what you’re going to do, but be willing to change it. “If you find that you’re on a beach and you’re bored out of your mind, get up and do something else,” says Dr. Edlund.
Get physical. Besides releasing endorphins, exercise also burns off excess adrenaline and cortisol. The “flight” can be on the treadmill, after all. If you haven’t been exercising, a vacation can be a good time to start. Even a walk on the beach can be invigorating for a chaise potato. At the other extreme, some people relax by doing marathons or triathlons. But overdoing it be stressful as well.
“We really weren’t meant to sit at a desk 12 hours a day,” says Dr. Edlund, who recommends that vacationers alternate periods of “food, activity and rest.”
Build in a buffer. Don’t work right up until the moment you leave and head back to work right off the plane. If possible, schedule an extra day off before you depart and another when you come back to dive back in slowly.
Manage expectations. Make sure your colleagues and clients know that you’ll be away and checking in only occasionally; tell those back home the kind of matters you want to be bothered about.
Breathe. As New Agey as it sounds, meditating and paced breathing can stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system, which works to balance the surges of adrenaline and cortisol that accompany stress, says Dr. Rosch.
Practice mindfulness: Research suggests that focusing the mind on the present moment can have profound effects. Mostly, it involves observing your surrounds without making judgments. Try observing your own feelings.
“Work on not working,” says Dr. Robinson. “With five minutes to think, ask yourself, ‘Why do I work this way? Why am I rushing?’ Most of us keep judging ourselves all the time, workaholics especially. It’s never enough. Examine those feelings. They might lead you to enlightenment.”
Reprinted from the Wall Street Journal, June 15, 2010. Posted by Laurie Puckett, Remmel Wellness Center – a full service chiropractic and wellness facility in St. Petersburg, Florida.
